Thursday 26th April 2012
Today we have the biopsy at 2pm, its called a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) this procedure is performed with out anesthetic and with the help of an Ultra Sound to ensure they don't pierce one of the major arteries in my neck. Just out right excited about getting that done *holds up sarcasm sign*
Tomorrow the Abdominal Cat Scan (no we wont be scanning my abdomen for a cat).
Jacqui has taken the next 2 days off to be with me while I do this stuff, support I love and appreciate and it must be said, an excellent way of keeping the earlier mentioned Crazy Bastard (my mind) in order.
With out constant outside stimulation from others (Jacqui), i.e.conversation filled with common sense, positive outlooks, warm hugs and realistic expectations the Crazy Bastard, lurches towards such sensible topics as "Is my Life Insurance up to date", "shit I need to sort out my will" and "how do I want my funeral to be". There are also some other sub topics like "I wonder if I can still be an organ donor if I die of cancer" and "I think Ill do a video message that they can play at my funeral".
Thursday kind of blasted by me without me really noticing - WIN
Friday 27th April 2012
Tests, phone calls and stuff.
I had a bunch of phone calls today both taken and made, the main phone calls I made were to my sister Marlene and to Theresa, they are both involved in the medical industry. Marlene is a specialist Nurse who deals directly with cancer patients and practitioners and Theresa is a Medical Scientist and Manager of Perth's Major Pathology provider. Both of them are able to inform me on who to speak to and how long tests will take.
I wanted results today, I wanted to go see my doctor today, I wanted to go into the weekend knowing exactly what I was facing and exactly what is coming up. What I got was a reality check, John, tests take time, John, doctors have schedules filled with other people who need them too.
Jacqui took me to lunch, it was nice just to spend time with her just to take a breath just to enjoy each other for a while. We spent the afternoon doing stuff sorting some things out with the Muzz Buzz and having a couple of drinks, that evening I went to pick up Matt.
Saturday 28th April 2012
Jacqui and I worked at the Muzz Buzz got home had a few wines collapsed fell asleep on the couch
Sunday 29th April 2012
Jac and I were due to work the whole day however we arranged for Kate and Matt to do the afternoon for us so I could go see my Mum. I had decided on Tuesday to not tell mum until I was absolutely certain what was going on, I was trying to protect her but in the process was hurting myself.
Heres the premise, Mums 82 years old has a bunch of health issues going on and in the last 6 months has moved out of her home into an aged care facility, she needs shielding from this right?
No No NO
Shes not a child, she is in perfect mental health, she is the strongest person I know and shes my mum and I need a hug from her.
Mum is an amazing woman who has lived her life with dignity and strength, she has gained the love and respect of everybody that has had anything to do with her.
Lets list some of her career highlights
- Lived through WWII as a teenager, supporting her Mum and Sick Father in keeping their huge family safe and together
- Married my Dad & they emigrated to Australia
- Discovered they were unable to have kids so went back to Holland to try and solve that issue to no avail
- Decided to come back to Aus and brought My Oma and Mums 13 Brothers and Sisters here with them (calculated plan of Dad to stop Homesickness for Mum).
- Adopted my Sister and I
- Lost the love of her life and soul partner (My Dad) to Cancer in 1992
- Hugged me when I told her they had found lumps in my chest and told me it would be ok
Mum was due to have a procedure done the next day, I rang Marlene to let her know I had changed my mind and wanted to tell Mum what was going on. Marlene was not very happy about me telling Mum because she was concerned the stress it would put her under and that it may put the procedure for tomorrow under jeopardy.
I guess I have to take a step back here, I wanted to tell my Mum about this for my benefit, to help me, was I being selfish? No, I don't think I was, like I've said Mum is a strong amazing woman and we ought to give her more credit, yes her body may be frail but her mind is not. I had told everyone else around me what was going on and hadn't told my Mum, that was wrong, she should have been one of the 1st to know not the last. Who am I to decide for her what she can cope with?
The most important point is that I needed to tell her, for my benefit, to help me process all this and to get a hug from my Mum
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